Urban Ed/Script
is sitting and thinking. Something occurs to him, and he moves a chess piece. Jonny: "Checkmate!" Plank: Jonny: "Boy, Plank, you sure have lost your finish." trashcan lid lands on the board. Eddy: "That's home plate, and here's the banana." Jonny: "Banana?" Eddy: "Run, Jonny, run!" Jonny: running "Um, okay. Where to?" runs into a tree which has a target painted on it. Eddy: "Hit the bullseye, Jonny! Squeeze the banana and hit the bullseye! Do it, hurry! Hit it! Hit it!" does as requested. Eddy: him away "What are you waiting for? Here's the peas, and here's the straw!" pours a bag of peas into Jonny's mouth and sticks a straw in. "C'mon, Jonny, get the lead out! Shoot the balloons! Shoot the balloons!" is floating in the air, suspended by four balloons. "Don't look at me! Shoot the balloons!" Jonny: hitting the two frontmost balloons "Oh, boy!" Eddy: "Don't drop the marshmallows!" fall into Jonny's arms. "Quit looking at me! Hurry, Jonny, move it!" Jonny: running "What do I do, Eddy?" Eddy: "Feed Double D. Feed him Jonny, hurry!" is carrying a tuba while sitting on a tricycle. Jonny fires away at it, not getting any in the tuba. Eddy: "That-a-boy Jonny!" Jonny: "Wa-hoo-hoo!" Eddy: "Touch home plate! Touch it! Touch it!" Jonny: "I see it, Eddy!" Eddy: "Go! Run! Hurry!" The Eds: "Run Jonny run!" dives for the plate but comes up short. Eddy: "Touch it! Touch it!" Edd: "Hurry Jonny, touch home plate!" Ed: "Go Jonny go!" Eddy: "What are you looking at?" Edd: "You're almost there Jonny!" Ed: "Aw, look at Jonny crawl!" Eddy: "Touch it!" crawls to home plate and touches it. Jonny: "I did it!" Eddy: out a jar "Quick, put a quarter in the jar, Jonny!" The Eds: "Hurry, Jonny, hurry!" just stares, uncomprehending. Eddy: "Put the quarter in the jar!" Eds continue to encourage him. Jonny stands up with the jar. Jonny: "Nice try, Eddy." hands Eddy the jar back. Ed: "I helped too, Jonny. I was the balloon guy!" Edd: "Perhaps we should design a game for Rolf." Eddy: "What's the use? Look at him, hanging laundry. Boring. And Kevin's fixing his bike–snoresville. Nazz is lounging, and the twerps are playing blocks. Did I mention Nazz lounging?" Ed: "What a gaggle of sad-sacks." Edd: "It's the curse of suburban living, Eddy. We're just too distant from the hustle and bustle of the big city." Eddy: "I love the city! If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere!" Edd: "Let's not forget the potpourri of urban culture! Museums, theater, and my favorite, libraries." Ed: into Edd, knocking him off his tricycle ''"Oh, and when you bump into cars they go 'Whoo! Whoo! Barp! Barp!'" '''Eddy:' "You can make big bucks in the big city." Ed: "Let's drive to the city, fellas!" Edd: "We're too young to drive, Ed." Ed: "My dad has a shovel!" Eddy: "Well I say if we can't go to the city, let's bring the city to the cul-de-sac." Edd: "I suppose I should find some tape." Ed: "Not to mention a duck." ---- is finishing the laundry. Rolf: "Ahh. The merciless beating with a stick has cleansed Nana's pantaloons, fresh." noises are heard. "What is this that fouls the calm of the cul-de-sac?" Kevin: shouting "Hey, Rolf! Your dad shearing sheep again? Keep it down!" Rolf: "This sound is a mystery to Rolf, as is your mockery of my father's leisure delight." Sarah: out of Jimmy's house "Hey! Keep it down or I'm calling the cops!" stalks over. "How are we supposed to play with all this racket?!" Jimmy: "I think it's coming from the lane!" Kevin: "I bet those Eds are up to something." ---- Kevin: into the lane "Awesome." Nazz: "We've got our own city!" Eds have indeed been busy; a cardboard city named Edtropolis has been built in the lane. Rolf: "Ya ya." Kevin: "Hoo, rah. The dorks did something cool for once." Sarah: "Everything's so big and tall!" Jimmy: "Let's stroll down the boulevard of dreams!" Jonny: offscreen "No, wait!" kids turn to look. "Don't go in there!" Rolf: "Look!" Jonny: "The city's a bad place, the city's scary and smelly. It's true! Ask Plank." kids ignore him and go past. "City people ignore you, they're too busy, and walk right past you without even so much as a howdy-do." realizes he's alone. "Huh? Guys? Didn't you hear what I said?" kids disappear into the city. "Boy, Plank, ever feel like you might as well be talking to a piece of wood?" is gone. "Plank? Plank? Not you, too!" ---- Jimmy: with the other kids, through the city "I'm tingly all over!" Sarah: "I've never been to the city!" Rolf: to cardboard people "Good day Mrs. Lady. Hello Mr. Fancypants. Greetings city stranger." Kevin: "They're cardboard, Rolf. Get a grip." ---- traffic light made of a milk carton is seen. Sarah: "Go!" traffic light switches to stop. Rolf: "What barbarian would hang the milk box from a string?" Sarah: "Geez, Rolf, that's a traffic signal." car horn shatters the conversation. Eddy: to drive "C'mon, I ain't getting any younger. Move it." Sarah: "Eddy, if you blow that horn one more time–" honks again and speeds off, raising a cloud of dust. Kevin: "What the–get back here, dork!" Rolf: on the exhaust "The city air is thick, like Nano's toenail." Jimmy: in a cloud "Where'd everybody go?" Kevin: "Wait'll I find that dork." Ed: to be a truck "Beep beep!" speeds past the kids. "I'm a truck, ten-four. Veering on your crumpet, thing." Kevin: "They're just trying to bug me. And it worked!" runs after Ed. He doesn't get far, however, as he runs into Edd. Edd has an airbag, and it inflates to many times Edd's size. Kevin: "You cut me off, Double Dweeb!" Edd: "I beg to differ, Kevin. My safety bag would not have deployed if you hadn't rear-ended me." Rolf: "I cannot see past Ed-boy's swollen back!" Eddy: "What is this, a funeral? Let's go, Grandma!" honks his horn, and Ed trundles up to the intersection. Edd: "Stay calm. Ignore the peanut gallery." light changes. Jimmy: "Don't stop." Rolf: "Yes, go." makes a hand signal that can't be seen by anyone behind him. Sarah: "Look out!" Kevin: "This guy's a hoot." Edd: "Can you see my hand signal? Because I'm about to make a turn." Kevin: "That's it. Stand back, folks." picks Edd up and stuffs him between two buildings. "Road rash!" Ed: "Smokey's on my tail!" drives past. Eddy jumps out of the way while the other kids get run over. ---- is wandering the bad side of town. Jonny: "Plank? Oh Plank? Where are ya, buddy?" voice beckons him from an alley. Man in Alley: "Hey. Jonny boy. S'matter?" steps out. "Looking for something?" Jonny: "Plank ran off, Eddy. He's all alone in this cardboard jungle! Have you seen him?" Eddy: "Hmm. Plank, Plank, Plank. About this tall, smiles a lot?" Jonny: "You saw him?" Eddy: "I can't seem to remember." pulls a jar out of his pocket. "How's about refreshing my memory, huh?" Jonny: violent "DID YOU SEE HIM OR NOT?!" Eddy: cowering "Nope. Haven't seen him. Beats me." Jonny: the hunt "Plank? Oh Plank?" Eddy: "How's a guy supposed to make a living?" ---- is dancing in the streets. Jimmy: "Bright lights and skyscrapers, whee! Pinch me Sarah, I'm dreaming!" is nowhere around. Jimmy: "Sarah?" the cardboard people "Pardon me, have you seen my friend Sarah? Sir? Too many people!" his head, he hears people laughing at him and babies crying. Jimmy: "I feel so congested!" distracted "Oh look, a shoe store." skips away. ---- is reading a copy of Bikini Babes. Kevin: "Aw, here we go." Edd: "Shine your shoes, citizen?" Kevin: "What?" Edd: a cardboard box on the ground "Foot, please." Kevin: "Yeah, yeah, fine." puts his foot on the box. Edd: the shoes "We certainly have been having some fine weather, haven't we, sir?" Kevin: "Enough small talk, what's the damage?" Edd: "The customer's always right! All done. That'll be 25¢." drops a bottle cap into his palm. Edd: "Um, Kevin, you seem to have given me a bottle cap." Kevin: away "Life in the big city, pal." laughs and walks off. Edd: "Kevin seems to have adapted quite well." walks by, carrying several boxes; she has shopped the afternoon away. Edd: "May I help you with those?" Eddy: atop a building, imitating a pigeon "Coo coo coo, coo!" Ed: to Eddy "Oink oink!" Eddy: out a spoonful of yogurt "Pigeons don't go oink, Ed." Ed: "I'm a gazelle! Oink!" yogurt drops. Edd: "Nazz, wait!" pushes an unaware Nazz out of the way of the dive-bombing. Nazz: "Hey you!" Edd: what he's done "Oh my." Nazz: "What do you think you're–" Edd: "Look out!" pulls her away from another bomb. Eddy: "Coo, coo!" Ed: up an anvil "Quack quack!" drops the anvil into the street. Eddy: "Ed, you're gonna hurt somebody! This ain't a cartoon!" Nazz: not to notice the falling mayhem "Double D, let go!" pulls her away from more yogurt. "Get off!" pushes him off and karate-chops Edd's back. Edd: pain "Curse my chivalrous ways." ---- Jonny: "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" steps in some yogurt. "For crying out loud!" hears a car's roar. Jonny: "Plank! My buddy!" is driving a wagon. Jonny has to leap into a trash can to out of its way. Jonny: as Plank drives off "Plank! Look what the city's done to you. Plank!" ---- Sarah: in a line with Nazz "Lineups. And more lineups. What's with all the lineups?!" Nazz: "That's what you do in the big city, Sarah. Ohhh my–" Sarah: "Jimmy?" has gone off and gotten a snake tattooed on his face. Jimmy: "I got a tattoo, Sarah!" Nazz: "Is that what this line is for?" Jimmy: "Only 25¢ at Ed's Tattoo Parlur!" is tattooing an ear of corn on Kevin's back. Kevin: "Get on with it, dork." Eddy: "Cry me a river." Sarah: "Hey! You butted in line, Rolf! Get lost!" goes over and starts to pound on him. Rolf: "Have mercy, rabid youth!" Jimmy: "Sarah's in trouble, and needs the help of the boy with the snake on his face!" hisses and heads into battle. Rolf: "Assistance, please!" tosses him to the ground. Eddy: "Security! Break it up, will ya?" Edd: nervous "But Eddy, situations such as these tend to work themselves–" Eddy: Edd "Get out there! They're scaring our customers." Rolf: "Mama, salvage Rolf!" brings a cardboard person down on him. Edd: involving himself in the fight "People, please, control your–" Sarah: "Jimmy, careful of his hairy back!" goes to help. "Hold him for me." fight seems to be climaxing when it suddenly stops. Jonny is in the middle of the warring parties. Nazz: "Hi Jonny." ---- Kevin: "Oh yeah? Well what's two plus two?" Eddy: "Hey hey hey! Any of that crystal ball stuff'll cost you extra." Jonny "Hiya, Jonny. Wanna tat?" Jonny: "Your city's corrupted the mind of my pal Plank! Surrender, urban fiend!" leaps at Eddy and begins to thrash him. Eddy: "Help, I'm being mugged!" runs away laughing with the money jar in his mouth. "Did you see that? That bald kid took my money!" Sarah: disinterested "Tell someone who cares." Eddy: "Ed, do something!" Ed: "Can I cater a party?" growls and heads out after Jonny. ---- climbs up the side of a building until he reaches the top. Sarah: "What's he doing?" Jonny: "You better find my Plank!" Edd: "We'll need some time, Jonny!" Jonny: "What?" Eddy: the building as well, having followed him up "Jonny, wait!" Jonny: "Back off, Eddy, or it's curtains for your dirty money!" dangles the open jar over the side of the building. Eddy: "Don't even kid about something like that!" hit Jonny. Edd: a traffic cone as a megaphone "Hey, you up there! Yes, you! With the jar. Someone wants to talk to you." places the cone in front of Plank. Jonny: "Plank, is that you?" Eddy: "See? Plank's okay. Now about that jar, pal." Jonny: "Shush. What?" Plank: Jonny: "Really? You think I should?" Eddy: "Should what? What?" hands the money jar's lid to Eddy. Plank: Jonny: "Okay, you brat, you!" hops down onto the next level, tossing the jar in the air and letting it spin. Eddy: "Jonny, no!" makes a grab at the jar. He catches it upside down. All the money pours out onto the street. "My money!" Kevin: "Scrambles!" Rolf: "Rolf is pleased." other kids join in and grab all the money. Eddy: "Hey don't touch that! Put it down!" jumps, and the roof collapses. The other boxes quickly follow suit, folding into one another. Eddy squeezes out the front door. Eddy: "That's city property!" collected all the money, the kids scatter, leaving Ed and Edd lying on the ground. Edd: dazed "You're welcome." Eddy: Edd to his feet "Double D, tell me you saved some, tell me we're okay!" Edd: "Eddy. It was horrible, Eddy! Look what they did to my shirt!" Eddy: Edd "AAARGH!" leaps on Ed. "Okay, lummox, did you get any coins? Did you, huh?" Ed: "Yeah, I got a bunch!" Eddy: "Thattaboy, Ed! Gimme gimme gimme!" holds up a worm. Eddy: "A worm?" Edd: "Ironic, don't you think?" Ed: on one of the buildings "I was too fast for them, Eddy." building suddenly slips and slides to the left. It hits another building, which topples into another. The collisions build in momentum until the city goes down like dominoes. Eddy: "My city!" Ed: "Dominoes! Let's do it again! Here, hold this." drops the worm down Eddy's shirt. Eddy: "Ed! I don't want it! Double D! Get a net! It's crawling!" Edd: giggling "You know, Eddy, ceaseless toil and broken dreams are the essence of urban living." ---- is riding through the ruined city with Plank in Plank's wagon. Jonny: "Ahh. Take a deep breath Plank, you can smell peace, love and tranquility!" Plank: Jonny: "I missed you too, buddy! But if you ever do that again, I'll glue you to a rock!" Plank: Jonny: "It's a joke, Plank!" laughs. Category:Scripts Category:Season 2 Category:Season 2 Scripts